10 Mar 2012

The kibble death trap

Clearly the big wigs who make dog kibble do not have a baby crawling around their house.  Dog food has become my new enemy #1. When Fin is crawling around on the floor I turn into a crazy woman who is only out to spot dog food, and let me tell you, I am getting pretty damn good at spotting it!  To be fair, I have a giant dog so his food is also huge.  They are perfect little round pieces that seem to me to be the exact size of an 8 month old's trachea.
The deadly kibble
My daughter has radar for a couple of things.  One radar has to do with us going to bed (she knows exactly when you lay your head down and then starts crying) and the other is zoned in on dog food. There must be something about the smell (blech) or the taste (as she has managed to lick a few - double blech) that just draws her right to it.  Diefenbaker (the lovely dog) also has jowls the size of Texas.  He eats and eats and eats and then goes right into the middle of the kitchen and shakes.  Uneaten kibble flies out of his jowls.  This is the worst type of kibble because not only does it fly right towards Fin, but it is also covered in dog drool so it's nice and sticky.  It sticks in her hair (of which she has barely any), it sticks to her clothes, it sticks to the underside of her blanket so I can't find it, and sometimes it even boomerangs back and sticks to the dog.  Diefenbaker has an obsession with shaking.  He is like a self conscious 14 year old girl - if you touch his hair he needs to react immediately to smooth it back out (i.e. shake his ears and jowls wildly to get them back into place).  Since Fin has arrived the shaking has increased 10 fold. I swear sometimes it's because he is trying to secretly kill her with kibble.  It really doesn't help that our dog food bowls are about 2 feet off the ground, and Fin is completely obsessed with climbing things now and lifting herself up (be it food bowls or the dog himself - he is her Mt. Everest that must be conquered). She lies underneath of them and plots how she can pull herself up and reach her hand in for a big fist full of kibble without making a sound and before I turn around. So far she hasn't been successful.

The lovely Great Dane bowls
I will admit that I have thought of smashing up the kibble, food processing it and soaking it in water before feeding it to Diefenbaker so that it's mushy.  In the end though none of that seems fair to the dog and I guess we all just need to learn to live with it. 

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